I shall wear purple 
 With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me 
 And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves 
 And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. 
 I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired 
 And gobble up samples in ships and press alarm bells 
 And run my stick along the public railings 
 And make up for the sobriety of my youth. 
 I shall go out in my slippers in the rain 
 And pick the flowers in other people's gardens 
 And learn to spit. 
 You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat 
 And eat three pounds of sausages at a go 
 Or only bread and a pickle for a week 
 And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. 
 But now we must have clothes that keep us dry 
 And pay our rent and not swear in the street 
 And set a good example for the children. 
 We will have friends to dinner and read the papers. 
 But maybe I ought to practice a little now? 
 So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised 
 When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.

 Author: Jenny Joseph 

 When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid, 
 And bring so much happiness... just as they did. 
 I want to pay back all the joy they've provided, 
 Returning each deed. Oh, they'll be so excited! 
 (When I'm an old lady and live with my kids) 

 I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues, 
 And bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes. 
 I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out. 
 I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout! 
 (When I'm an old lady and live with my kids) 

 When they're on the phone and just out of reach, 
 I'll get into things like sugar and bleach, 
 Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head, 
 And when that is done I'll hide under the bed! 
 (When I'm an old lady and live with my kids) 

 When they cook dinner and call me to eat, 
 I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat. 
 I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table, 
 And when they get angry I'll run... if I'm able! 
 (When I'm an old lady and live with my kids) 

 I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click, 
 I'll cross both my eyes just to see if they stick. 
 I'll take off my socks and throw one away, 
 And play in the mud 'til the end of the day! 
 (When I'm an old lady and live with my kids) 

 And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh, 
 I'll thank Goddess/God in prayer and then close my eyes. 
 My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping, 
 And say with a groan. "She's so sweet . when she's sleeping!" 
 (When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

© Copyright April 1991 -- Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH